Assertiveness tips

There are a lot of understanding about the assertive, but the point is how we are being honest and appropriate expression of feelings, opinions, or needs we have.
From the various discussions, many also claim that the Assertive communication is not easy (it does not mean can not you know;))

So remember the time a student experience, while learning about the "assertive". My question is the same time as being asked by most people, that is how so we can be an assertive person? The Lecturer just smiled and said, "you as a person ... (mention the name of a particular ethnic group), how could you not be assertive?" (In my heart told me, lha kok even asked back? ... And ... what's wrong with my tribe, if so I must be the same as everyone else?)
Without getting a satisfactory answer, I finally tried his own to find a way, and strive to be assertive. One article I like is learning to be assertive here. The explanation is simple and to the point, starting from developing a value system that assertive, learn skills for assertive communication, using appropriate communication style, and the last is keep practicing.
Develop an assertive value system - that means understanding that everyone (including ourselves) can only do wrong, to angry, to say "No", and have the desire or feeling alone. We are not perfect and we also do not have to always follow other people's opinions, if indeed it does not fit with us. So, do not need to be discouraged if our feelings or our opinions are not equal with others.
Learn skills to communicate assertively - Used to say "I want to ..." or "I feel ..." is one way to convey thoughts, feelings and our opinions on something. Also show sensitivity to the situation and feelings of others, who continued with our own opinions. For example "I know you're busy, but our group has agreed that this task should be completed today, so I hope you also want to help to solve them."
Another skill is to use a phrase that shows the impact of an event or action against us. Explain what has happened, how it impacts you, and what your expectations then. For example "I was disappointed when you arrive late, I could not start the meeting because the material is there on you when all the invitations have been present. Next time you need to arrive early so it is still available time to prepare before the meeting begins. "Communication like this is better than if we just blame the person is alone.

Using the appropriate style of communication - that is showing a positive attitude, such as maintaining eye contact when talking with others, not back to the people we talked to, the volume and tonality that match, and accuracy between expressions and statements that we submit (eg say "No", shaking his head, not with a nod).
The latter is constantly training to be assertive. Exercise takes time and patience, of course: P Practice first with the people closest to us, for example with friends or family. Convey also our goal to be assertive. Ask them to want to provide feedback about things we have done, or about the style of communication that we use. Hopefully the next time communication that we do can be more honest, open and able to support the relationships we nurture with others.
Not easy? That's for sure, my experience also says so, but it's definitely different when we can deliver something that suits our feelings and opinions, rather than merely follow the wishes of others;)
Keep Trying! : D



source : http://pratanti.wordpress.com
Ristanti Wengku